Sharps

It’s been a long couple weeks with all the expected highs and lows. With significant uncertainty about the best next step, it’s been hard to know what to communicate with others. Thank you for your continued prayers, words of encouragement, and support. It means so much in the ups and downs of this time.

Wanting to share some sort of update with you, I’ve been reflecting on what has happened over the past two weeks and what we do know about what is next. No trigger warning needed as I will spare you the details, but everything seems to revolve around needles.

💉 The thyroid molecular test returned with a low cancer threat, so I am grateful to be able to lay that concern aside. The molecular test was done about six weeks ago with several large biopsy needles. The material removed was sent to a lab and the report came back a few days ago. My ENT surgeon will continue to monitor my thyroid health yearly with ultrasounds, and no further intervention will be necessary as long as everything stays the same.

💉 I went through my radiation simulation a few days ago, and was given tattooed marks that will help the radiation doctor and technicians line me up in the machine for treatment. Right now, I’m scheduled to begin radiation treatment at the end of September, and will go five days a week for four weeks.

💉 The start date for treatment is unknown as I am still being treated for a seroma—fluid that is collecting in the space left when the tumor was removed. Usually, seromas are emptied and addressed in reconstruction surgery. Because my reconstruction turned into an abscess management surgery, the seroma went untouched. The surgical team began to address the issue a few weeks later as it became clear I was no longer a candidate for reconstruction.

Initially, aspirating 💉 the seroma yielded about 160ml of fluid (almost two specimen vials full). We are down to about 70ml per time, and are stepping up the aspiration schedule to every other day. In a perfect world, the seroma would be healed (no longer filling with fluid) before radiation begins. As radiation progresses, the tissue is no longer able to absorb fluid and the seroma would be come a chronic condition where the discomfort it causes would be permanent. However, we are nearing the end of the time frame when starting radiation would still be considered an effective treatment option. The ongoing management of the tumor site and abscess has really upset the normal sequence of events.

It’s been difficult to navigate the different care teams and seeking answers to my question about the effectiveness, safety, and timing of radiation treatment. My frustration level has been high as the different teams seem to have different opinions. Yesterday I was able to talk with my cancer surgeon about my concerns and was grateful for her assurance that she would make the connections needed to get the answers I am seeking.

I’m tired. But trusting that what is murky will come clear. What is sharp will soften over time. And that at some point, there will be an end to this part of my life. I’m ready to shift my energy to something more life-giving (I recognize the irony in that statement) but for now I will continue to put my energy into healing and holding on to hope.

On another note, Hana is glad to be an eight grader and back in school with her friends! It’s volleyball season and our next several weeks are filled with games and tournaments. Unfortunately, she’s caught the obligatory beginning-of-school illness and recovery has been slow. She is looking forward to being back to full strength and her full schedule soon.

Hope With Me:

• For the seroma to be resolved and healed.
• For that healing and resolution to happen before radiation begins, AND in time for radiation to still be an effective treatment option.
• For my own energy and outlook as I navigate between doctors, opinions, personal conviction, and treatments.
• For Hana’s return to health, and that I would stay healthy during this back-to-school season.
• Giving thanks for the good thyroid report and taking that treatment plan off my plate.